


Seeing Red

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Friendship, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-28
Updated: 2006-07-28
Packaged: 2019-02-02 07:37:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12722358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Daniel adjusts to a new colonel. Or the colonel adjusts to him.





	Seeing Red

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: A special thank-you to Scribe for her wonderful fanfic and, more importantly, her words of encouragement. Without them, I would never have had the courage to post a story!  
  
Feedback always welcome and appreciated!  


* * *

_Just two more minutes, Teal’c. Keep him busy just two more minutes._ Daniel ran his fingers through his grimy hair trying to steady his nerves. He blinked as the blood from the scratch on his forehead trickled into his eyes. Damn, not now! He didn’t have time now to deal with minor irritations. He brushed a hand across his eyes trying to concentrate on the job he had to do. A few more minutes and it would be too late.

The hallway was clear; his goal was in sight. He gently pushed open the door to the locker room and stuck his head slowly around the corner looking for any occupants. All clear. Good. Quickly, he entered the room, dropped his pack on the floor, and pulled his penknife from his pocket. Finding the locker he was looking for, he maneuvered the knife blade in between the door and the frame and heard the soft snick as the lock gave way. 

“Thank you, Jack,” he whispered. All those little lessons from a special ops colonel had not gone to waste.

The locker was open but he needed to hurry. He glanced back at the door. Still clear. Mitchell he knew would be here any minute. Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed the bottle of shampoo that Sam had given him a few minutes earlier and put it on the top shelf. It looked just like the bottle of Mitchell’s shampoo that Daniel was now making disappear. Another snick and the locker door was closed.

The new guy was in for a surprise.

Daniel was running out of time. Even though Teal’c had instructions to keep Mitchell in the ‘gate room talking to General Landry as long as possible, Daniel and Sam knew they would only have a few minutes. Their trip to P4X 746 had been relatively uneventful and Landry would be willing to wait for tomorrow’s scheduled debriefing for the full report. Daniel’s only mishap the entire trip was a fall down an embankment on his way to fill his canteen that had resulted in the small irritating cut on his forehead. The rest of the mission had been standard recon: Sam took some rock and soil samples; Daniel brought home a few artifacts. All in all it had been pretty boring. Nothing to worry General Landry about. Daniel wondered what other stories Teal’c was telling them to keep Mitchell away the required ten minutes. 

Ten minutes was what the conspirators figured they needed. It would take Daniel a few minutes to detour by Sam’s lab, and a few minutes for Sam to mix up her witch’s brew and put it in the shampoo bottle, and a few more minutes for Daniel to make it back to the locker room to perform the switch.

And that ten minutes was about up right about…now.

Just in time, Daniel ducked around the corner of the shower room and into the last stall. He flattened himself against the wall, willed his breathing to slow, and kept still. Jack had told him often enough that stealth was the key to any undercover operation and in this particular case Daniel was doing his very best not to be seen or heard. He could only hope Mitchell wouldn’t come all the way to the end of the room to shower.

_Here we go._ Daniel heard Mitchell come into the room. He was whistling something that Daniel couldn’t quite make out. Not opera at least; that was Jack’s thing. Some Kiss, maybe? Couldn’t quite tell. He heard the locker open as Mitchell gathered up his supplies for his shower. Daniel had seen cute little soaps sitting beside the soon to be infamous bottle of shampoo. He wondered if there was a lady in Mitchell’s life. It might be worth looking into. And then the faint sounds of clothing falling to the floor. He heard the locker door slam shut. The whistling grew louder as Mitchell entered the shower room itself. 

“Please don’t let him come down here. Please don’t let him come down here,” Daniel chanted under his breath and flattened himself a little more snugly against the shower stall wall. 

Danger, he well knew, was part of every mission and this was the moment of truth. All the careful planning in the world would be for naught if Mitchell saw him. How would he explain the fact that he was standing in a shower stall fully clothed? Mitchell would probably think he was a Peeping Tom or something.

Luck was with him. Mitchell stopped two stalls down and Daniel heard the sharp hiss as the water spurted out of the shower head. He was so on edge, Daniel thought he could hear the sound of the soap lathering. Certainly the scent of the soap wafted over to him. Those cute little bars had kind of a lemony smell. Nice. Now that he knew how to get into Mitchell’s locker, maybe he could “borrow” one of those soaps--if he ever got around to actually having a shower. The steam was also making its way to Daniel. His glasses were fogging, his tee shirt was sticking to him, and that irritating little cut on his forehead was all the more irritating because it wouldn’t stop bleeding in all the humidity. Daniel wished he’d thought to leave his jacket in Sam’s lab. Too late now. He would just have to tough it out. Undercover ops were bound to be uncomfortable even if this one smelled pretty good.

The whistling stopped and the tone of the shower changed. 

Must be the rinse cycle. So…any minute now…it’s time to wash the hair.

And there it was!

“Damn! What the hell…? Shit!” 

Yep. Bull’s-eye!

Two doors down, Daniel doubled over. God, don’t laugh! He was shaking so hard he thought he would burst. He bit his lower lip and felt his face getting red. He dug his fingers into the tender skin around his knees hoping that the pain would keep him from an outburst that would surely give away his position. 

He could still hear Mitchell spewing expletives a few feet away. Daniel was actually mildly surprised. While he was aware that Mitchell was a military man, and as such must have had a ready supply of foul language at his disposal, Daniel had never really heard Mitchell use more than mild profanity. Not so anymore. Mitchell, true to his calling, drew on his hidden reserves and used every swear word in what was obviously an extensive lexicon. As a linguist, Daniel was impressed. 

Impressed or not, Daniel knew he was running out of time. _Oh God! If Teal’c doesn’t get here soon I’m going to die on the spot._ Possibly of asphyxiation from holding his breath for so long, maybe from heat stoke caused by too much humidity. But beyond a doubt dead. How would it look if a member of SG1, the program’s elite team, didn’t die on a gallant mission to save the world but while hiding in a shower stall right in the middle of the SGC? _Anytime Teal’c._

As if he’d heard Daniel’s thought, that moment Teal’c walked through the door. “Colonel Mitchell, are you in need of assistance?”

“Teal’c? Is that you? Some asshole put something in my shampoo bottle and it’s obviously not shampoo!”

“Just a moment, Colonel Mitchell.” Daniel heard Teal’c open his locker. “Will this do?” and he handed Mitchell some real shampoo.

That was Daniel’s cue to leave. Knowing that Mitchell would be busy for a couple of more minutes and that Teal’c would be there to run interference, Daniel quietly slipped out of the stall, grabbed his pack from under the bench, and left the locker room, but not before grinning at Teal’c who managed to look as composed as only Teal’c could. Teal’c gave a smug little smile and a small bow as Daniel left.

Once on the other side of the door, Daniel took a deep breath and felt some of the tension leave him. He shed his jacket, dropped it on the pack which he’d placed on the floor, and removed his steamy glasses. He ran his fingers through his damp but still dirty hair in an effort to sooth his now frazzled nerves. The feel of his gritty hair reminded him that he really needed a shower but he didn’t think he had the guts to go into that room again, at least not with Mitchell in there. He would have to wait until Mitchell was gone and then maybe he could “borrow” some of that lemony soap and remove a couple of layers of dirt. 

Faintly, from the shower room he could hear Teal’c’s voice.

“Are you quite well Colonel Mitchell? May I be of assistance?”

“Thanks Teal’c. Not a problem. Ow! Damn!”

Daniel bent over again and put his hands on his knees. He figured it was time to leave before he fell down on the floor laughing. Or before someone saw him.

“Dr. Jackson? You okay?” Damn. Too late. It was Sgt. Siler, probably on his way to the ‘gate room. 

“You look a little rough Doctor. You need a hand with anything?”

Startled, Daniel straightened up. He could just imagine that he looked a little rough. His hair was stuck to his head, his uniform was damp and still dirty from the mission, the scratch on his forehead was bleeding, and what he really, really needed was a shower, the one thing he was not going to get for a while. “I’m fine Sergeant, thank-you. I was just…uh…well…the pack’s a little heavy, you know, with artifacts….I’m just going to take this to my lab.” Still babbling, Daniel stuck his glasses back on his face, grabbed his pack, his jacket, and left a confused Siler staring after him.

The scroll from P4X 746 really was a terrific find Daniel thought. It had to be at least five hundred years old and the dialect of Goul’d was one that Daniel hadn’t had a chance to study in depth. Hopefully, Teal’c would be available later this evening to give him a hand with a couple of phrases that were proving particularly difficult to translate. Daniel concentrated on getting the initial translation down on paper. The page in front of him filled rapidly. Lost in his work, he felt rather than saw someone come into his room but he couldn’t spare the time to look up just yet. This section needed to be worked out before he lost his train of thought. He kept his eyes on his writing.

“Jackson?” It was Colonel Mitchell. He came into the room and stood by Daniel’s shoulder looking down at the translation.

Daniel didn’t turn around. “Um…yes, Colonel. Just give me a minute.” Daniel kept writing.

“Jackson,” Mitchell’s hand dropped to Daniel’s shoulder. “You all right?”

“Fine, Colonel.” Daniel’s pencil was still moving across the paper.

“Sgt. Siler said you didn’t look too good. He thought you looked a little flushed.”

The pencil hesitated for just a second. “No, no, I’m…fine. But I’m kind of in the middle of something here.”

“Have you seen Dr. Lam yet about that cut on your forehead?”

“Really, Colonel, I’m fine. It’s just a scratch.” Daniel tried without success to concentrate on the paper in front of him.

“Yeah, well, Teal’c seemed a little worried about it when we got back. And why haven’t you hit the showers yet? You sure look, and smell, like could use one.”

Daniel kept his head down. “I…uh…I wanted to get to work on this translation right away. You see this line of text could be translated a couple of different ways depending on how you define this word…”

Daniel steeled himself realizing it had to be done. He finally tore his eyes away from the paper and looked up at Mitchell. Wow! His eyes widened as he took in Mitchell’s rather shocking appearance. 

“Colonel, you…ah…you do something different to your hair?” 

Mitchell’s hair, still damp from the shower, was a rather fluorescent shade of red. Not auburn, or even a reddish-brown. Red. Not only was his hair red but part of his neck and forehead, and best of all, his hands. Daniel was going to have to compliment Sam on her color choice. She had assured Daniel that the hair would be red but Daniel hadn’t truly believed that you could get a hair color that was so definitely and absolutely red. More like a paint color really. He hadn’t considered the fact that Mitchell’s hands would also be red. What a great added bonus. He wondered if Sam had considered it. Probably. She was a scientist. It was her job to consider all possibilities and outcomes.

Daniel could also see the irritation on Mitchell’s face. 

“Yeah, some jackass put hair color or something in my shampoo bottle. Doctor Lam says the color will come off my skin in a few days but I’m stuck with the hair unless I decide to get a buzz cut.”

“Dr. Lam?”

“I needed to get some drops for my eyes. That stuff really stings when you get it in your eyes.”

Ouch. Daniel winced as he noticed Colonel Mitchell’s bloodshot eyes--also an interesting shade of red. There was another possibility he hadn’t considered. 

“You going to be okay?” Daniel asked hesitantly feeling a little guilty about the eyes.

“Oh yeah. A couple of days and they’ll be fine. No big deal.” 

Well that was a relief. Daniel took another good look at the hair. Oh God. Maybe he wasn’t cut out for undercover operations. His self-control was practically nonexistent. And for the second time in one day he felt he really was going to die right on the spot. How could he get Mitchell out of his office before he broke into hysterical laughter? Maybe he’d get lucky and a goul’d would come through the ‘gate. Or maybe they could just have a nice normal lab explosion, or a mutant plant taking over the base…anything that would get Mitchell away from him before he collapsed on the floor laughing. Ah well. At least it would look a little better in his obituary if he died in his office instead of in a shower stall. Unless, of course, Mitchell killed him. Then it might not look too good. There would have to be an investigation, and explanations….

Ten seconds. He figured maybe he had ten seconds and then the game was up. 

“Well, I just came by to make sure you’re okay,” Mitchell said as he turned to leave. “Go see Dr. Lam as soon as you’re done here. We still on tomorrow for some basketball? Teal’c wants a rematch.” Mitchell paused with his hand on the doorframe.

“Uh...yeah…two o’clock?”

“Sounds good.” Daniel could hear Mitchell’s voice from down the hall. “Briefing’s at 0800. Don’t forget.”

When Daniel finally felt that he could breathe again, his face broke out in a huge grin. Drained by the effort of keeping a straight face for what seemed like an eternity, Daniel rested his head against his hands and chuckled softly. Yeah, he was liking this new guy. And he might just make to tomorrow alive.

“Oh, and Jackson.” Daniel’s head popped up surprised to see Mitchell standing in the doorway again. “Next time, don’t leave your pack on the floor in the locker room.” And Mitchell was gone. 

Daniel’s bellow could be heard all the way to the gateroom. Yeah, definitely liking the new guy. But definitely not showering here. He wasn’t sure it would ever be safe to shower on the base again. He’d wait until he got home. The grin still plastered to his face, Daniel bent down to finish his translation. He didn’t have the faintest idea what it said.


End file.
